Porn Valley- Wankus of KSEX, www.ksexradio.com is an extremely talented man. But when it comes to impersonating Australians, Wankus ought to leave the job up to Luke Ford. Wankus and Michelle Lay got into a conversation about Tony Sexton Wednesday night, and Wankus went into a rendition of Sexton best appreciated by an Outback Steakhouse commercial. However, his appetite whetted for impromptu niteclub comedy, Wankus then took on Kurt Lockwood. Not bad, but The Wanker needs to work on some songs, dances and snappy Ramones’ patter to put the whole deal over.
Lockwood, www.kurtlockwood.com is often the topic of conversation with Lay who’s got a thing for Lockwood. So Wankus decided to bust some titty last night with a Kurt being cool rendition. At one point, Lay displayed her clit and Wankus remarked how good she smells even when on the rag. “If you didn’t fuck Kurt Lockwood once a week I’d fucking go down on that right now.” Lay said she had fucked Lockwood the night before.
Lay explained that she had done a scene with Lockwood and Flower Tucci for her Seymore Butts line. Lay explained that her and Tucci were fighting over the pop shot. “It’s your fucking movie, you take it,” Lay had apparently told her. Lay explained how Tucci was getting drilled in the ass. “Kurt’s driving his big cock into her ass and I’m licking his cock as it’s going in and out of her ass.” Lay went on to say that as Lockwood pulled his cock out, he squirted it all over her face. “At the same time she’s squirting. I had to hold my breath. It was like going under water. My hair was soaked. I had cum in my eye, cum in my nose. It was insane. Flower squirted for ten minutes straight and Kurt’s load was huge. My whole face I was soaked. We do a good trio.” Lay mentioned how they all then took a shower together with Lockwood peeing on her feet.
Wankus said he likes Kurt but wondered what it was like to spend your entire life in cool mood. “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”
Lay begged to differ. And Wankus begged to differ Lay’s differing. “I’ve hung out with him having beers in bars,” said Wankus. “By myself, nobody around. Just me and him. It was always like, “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, that’s riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight,” Wankus said channeling the ghost of Jack Kerouac. “He’s always in cool mode. Can’t you ever turn it off and have fun? Can’t you ever just fucking be yourself. Can’t you be a geek once in awhile, go to the roller rink and do a flip and be stupid?”
Lay said she didn’t find Lockwood like that at all but knows that’s how some people perceive him. Wankus speculated that was because she was concentrating on his cock and his abs. “You don’t talk to him!” Lay said she talks to Lockwood every day and Wankus defied her to come up with one thing she remembered of the conversation. “Besides, heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.” Lay said she and Reno [her husband] and Flower and Lockwood all went to lunch together. “We had Margaritas. We all had a good conversation. He’s hung out at our house and we all got along…and then I fucked him.”
“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I got a parrot on my shoulder and I’m wearing my G-strinnnnnnnnnnnnnng,” Wankus continued in FM voice. “I’m wearing some Speedos. I’m the maaaaaaaaaaaan. Heyyyyyyyyy.” Lay then asked Wankus if he’s always in asshole mode. “That’s how I always used to think of you,” she said. “People don’t know you outside of here- they all think you’re an asshole.” Wankus said that’s because a lot of people read and hear soundbites of his show. “Most of them are Gene Ross specials where he likes to put the hottest thing in the headline.” Lay said she’s already been a victim.
“In fun I could have said something like Kurt swallows jib then moved on to a funny conversation,” Wankus continued. ” But the headline tomorrow will be WANKUS SAYS KURT SWALLOWS JIB!!!! People read that and don’t even hear the show. They judge me based on that.” He then explained how the Wankus character is an exaggerated version of the real Wayne Lewis. Lay agreed that the same thing happens to Nick Manning. “Nick Manning’s a nice guy…,” said Lay.
“Nick is married to a mirror,” replied Wankus. “I should say engaged to a mirror.” Lay said Manning’s not like that. Wankus said he was. “No he’s not!” she argued.
“Wait, let me get my Nick hair going,” drawled Wankus. “Yeeeeeeeah. Nick Manning and me and Tabitha Stevens and all 47 of her new body parts, we is married. Hmmmmmmmmm.” Lay said with Wankus’ latest haircut he looked like a constipated white version of Don King.